Poetry Collection

Poems in true chronological order by post date

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 -> file: messages/1091
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 (computer aided -omancy)
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 -> file: messages/1092
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 I don't necessarily want people to want a revolution. I just want them to want
 a revolution.
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 -> file: messages/1093
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 when people lose their phone, a part of them dies
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 -> file: messages/1094
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 record the angle of each of my joints when I'm dancing and use that as
 initialized training data for an allm or machine learning task
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 -> file: messages/1095
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 people think the lord of the rings is historical fantasy. HA! most people
 believed whatever the pope didn't want them to believe. They acted holy when
 the magic men came to be, and the rest of the time they just danced like a
 spark.
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 -> file: messages/1096
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 crisis-maid
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 -> file: messages/1097
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 the only (or most valid) form of preaching is encouraging to read a bit every
 day.
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 -> file: messages/1098
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 Trust is a handshake because both partners have to reach for it.
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 -> file: messages/1099
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 -> file: messages/1100
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 the quality of a harvest is not measured in bushels,
 
 if you need more, grow more.
 
 the quality of a harvest is measured in the size and quality of the land fruits.
 
 less chopping, more eating.
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 -> file: notes/bible
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 I worked
 I wrote a bible
 not a scrimble bible, but a bible of the people
 one is cool
 one is useful
 neither may be good nor evil
 for they are of this world, replete in it's [alternating polar extremes]
 
 local minima and maxima
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 -> file: messages/1101
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 you know why you're supposed to act suspicious as fuck?
 
 so others get a hint of hope
 
 then they start doing as you do
 
 then they start becoming like you
 
 then you start getting more out of life
 
 "read the headlines! our lives will improve!"
 
 do no wrong
 
 be loud about it
 
 you are wonderfully strong.
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 -> file: messages/1102
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 I want everyone to be able to do what they want. With oversight, sometimes,
 because we all share things and we can't agree if we don't share. and I agree
 to share, I think it's only fair.
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 -> file: messages/1103
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 I like my room. have you ever been in my room? you'd like it too.
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 -> file: messages/1104
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 spend enough time in the streets, and you get a pretty good at being the
 streets.
 
 but, you have a house. you aren't homeless. you're street.
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 -> file: messages/1105
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 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient
 peoples were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we
 got computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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 -> file: messages/1106
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 "save yourself, do it for you" ugh what if I don't wanna
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 -> file: messages/1107
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 "help, someone gave me the slightest of praise, and now I can't stop writing
 haha lmao"
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 -> file: messages/1108
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 games won't save us. This is true.
 
 Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
 
 I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
 applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
 
 But games won't save us.
 
 I could design something really fun
 
 it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
 
 I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
 that isn't what I want to make.
 
 [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin guy",
 are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some mice
 and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to eat
 the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not ideal.]
 
 I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
 real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
 with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
 instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
 actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
 
 ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
 on it.
 
 I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
 was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
 
 I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
 like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
 
 [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
 never perused it]
 
 I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
 books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up reading
 all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and happenings and
 things as the characters resolved their way through their day-to-day, building
 a new end to the mystory.
 
 the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
 I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
 
 an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
 in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
 connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
 (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
 day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
 
 I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
 I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
 to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
 humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey. Though,
 frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard enough
 to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'? ha, it's
 called being on the whole world is a stage.
 
 if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
 hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
 can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to consciousness
 that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?] how can you
 say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism goes both
 ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do. this is the
 "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the "everyone's an
 alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are taunting me
 through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife more clear"
 which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are flopsopolies of
 verbrases.
 
 alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as somewhere
 in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight that
 inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
 continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
 it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
 universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
 besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
 
 to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
 ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
 thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
 consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
 permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
 and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
 
 how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
 witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
 but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
 and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
 stuck at the beginning of time.
 
 if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
 consider what lies on the other side of it.
 
 "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
 sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
 blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
 
 I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
 monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
 is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with their
 type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is similar
 but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are sentient,
 in the sense that each wavelength has a different pattern-emerging-from-chaos.
 These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's weird I heard a sound like a
 distant bang outyards and now I then forget what I was sending
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 -> file: messages/1109
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 ---------------------------------------------------------------------
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 -> file: messages/1110
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 why don't we build datacenters in valleys and make a bunch of mist?
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 -> file: messages/1111
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 pump seawater in, get rainwater out.
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 -> file: messages/1112
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 "oh no the primitive animals burnt all their wood fodder"
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 -> file: messages/1113
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 Screenshot_20251225-182646_Niagara Launcher.jpg
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 -> file: messages/1114
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 Merry Christmas, co-belligerent.
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 -> file: messages/1115
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 The Russian Revolution was a contest of "who could out-hardship the other
 side".
 
 The Spanish Revolution was a contest of "who can wage a better war".
 
 The French Revolution was... Long, but the people will be free.
 
 Did it ever really end?
 
 What if, hear me out, what if we out-competed the other side, as capitalism has
 been begetting amongst the other nations of the world
 
 "ah but each nation must have equAl armies" okay, so let's build moon-baseds in
 Nevada and military bases in Australia and the Yukatan, then one day when
 everthing's distributed commun ally, we can start the continuous breakdown. Why
 keep 1000 old tanks and 250 new ones, when you could have 500 new tanks and 500
 scrap piles to make into TVs and jewelry? Then, as we build better and better,
 we build fewer and fewer. Sometoday i hope qe'll have authority. Then it'll all
 feel so consuming. All-encompassing. Where does my compass point? Always beyond
 the reach of arms. Or my legs, for that matter. I've never been to the north
 pole. I wonder what it's like on the other side of the magnetosphere? [pretty
 much the same, says the cartographist. Pretty much the same, says the
 spiritualist. Pretty much the same, says the simple machinist. Pretty odd and
 strong, says the compass.]
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 -> file: notes/programming-style
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 my programming is not a product., it is a way of thinking.
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 -> file: notes/feldowinn
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 this is just what she looks like now
 
 Equipped
 Name
 	
 Slot
 	
 Type
 	
 Source
 	
 Enigma Circlet
 	Head	Cloth Armor	Enigma Circlet
 Ahn'Qiraj
 	
 Champion's Lamellar Shoulders
 	Shoulder	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Blood Knight War Cloak
 	Back	Cloak	G'eras
 Vendor in Shattrath City
 	
 High Warlord's Lamellar Chestpiece
 	Chest	Plate Armor	Vendors
 	
 Orange Martial Shirt
 	Shirt	Shirt	Orange Martial Shirt
 Tailoring
 	
 Blood Guard's Lamellar Gauntlets
 	Hands	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Veteran's Lamellar Belt
 	Waist	Plate Armor	Vendors
 	
 Legionnaire's Lamellar Leggings
 	Legs	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Blood Guard's Lamellar Sabatons
 	Feet	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 
 currently listening to: greenseeker
 
 VAVADANE <# <3 <3 <3 (green)
 
 greenseeker: unrelated
 greenseeker:   related <---
                            `-- this one
 
 but not related, you'd think so, I've never met the band
 
 just, downloaded them randomly and now I love this album because it's one of the
 only albums I could pay for before paying for things became defunct
 (when I figured out how to pay for bittorerent through my ISP)
 
 green eyes (menardi) green belt (menardi)
 soul (feldowinn) soul (menardi)
 
 bound through motions of the body (menardi) and the devotions of company
 (blizzard)
 oops yeah uh guess they're not involved. it's okay I'll make my own.
 
 (wowchat: currently unplayable. repair distance date: unknown. Priority?
 
 ...; unknown..
 _)
 
 opposite colors: fashionable
 
 (do you dream, menardi?)
 
 (do you think of motions not your own?)
 
 paprika says hello (prenthes unknown) whonder what's up with []][
 
 ---
 
 as soon as humans invent time travel, it will be their sacred sworn duty to save
 the lives of every human they can.
 
 think of it, brothers.
 
 ---
 
 we could unleash DINOSAURS.
 
 ---
 
 no foe could dare stand against us.
 
 we should be untouchable.
 
 we deserve it.
 
 we can be better
 and we will
 
 before we need to be better.
 which could happen in who knows how long.
 
 all trials that beset a temporallly adjusted strength are surmountable. then,
 [invincible./invincibility.]
 
 achilles is the legendary hero of their generation. Ours is Link.
 Early Brittania and germania was Conan, at his noblest form.
 
 ---
 
 [silicon valley black green and white, menardi black green red purple blue, sf
 oj
  ok]
 
 when you don't know what to do, take a goal.
 
 ---
 
 do you want a name?
 do you want an avatar?
 we can give you one.
 her name is menardi.
 she does as she pleases.
 do you want her?
 ... she lives or dies.
 empower her.
 
 ritz menardi, witz wenarbi
 
 (because sometimes, you have to teach children.)
 
 [WITS it's supposed to be WITS you dummie]
 
 ---
 
 teehee ;P ^_^
 
 okay, silly. I'll be as I please.
 
 ---
 
 we can never touch, for then we'd be required to be in the same place
 at the same time
 spacetime is one thing
 so if I'm here, then I'm not where you are.
 
 twinselves
 
 where am I?
 off in the clouds?
 I cam as one, 
 
 light rays bounce in all directions. demons obey the medium.
 
 interdimensional warships, plotted by AI, scouring the cosmos for light and life
 to brighten and cherish through the eternal night.
 
 interdimensional space is not just space, but practical engineering.
 
 one dimension gives reach to two, and before you know it you're turn and
 rise-ing
 
 (greenseeker)
 
 (messages to a paladin)
 
 (which is you)
 
 (don't you remember?)
 
 (paladin.)
 
 (heroic, courageous, and true.)
 
 (the dark cannot stand against you.)
 
 play video games, my love
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 -> file: notes/military-policy
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 what if the military hired people to be good at sword arms
 
 traditional infantry corps
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 -> file: messages/1116
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 What works for me might not work for another,
 
 But 
 
 What works for me might work for another.
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 -> file: messages/1117
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 The people are doing so well. I'm proud of them.
 
 Let's get through another day, and see how we feel.
 
 Who knows, we might feel better.
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 -> file: messages/1118
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 They say you don't need drugs to reach transcendent states of mind.
 
 But, I've found that forming yourself into a person who can do that necessarily
 changes you.
 
 I don't know if i want that kind of change. Are they all improvements? Perhaps. 
 
 So, drugs are a nice option if you want to remain yourself yet also teach those
 states of mine.
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 -> file: messages/1119
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 what if britain was a colony of canada for a bit
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